He Ghosted Me!

Dear Lucia,

I recently started seeing a guy. At first, he was the best. He would text me every other day, and if he had an unexpected day off from work, he would call and ask me to do something.

About a week ago I could feel him pulling away (he wouldn’t text back so quickly or instead of returning a call right away, he would e-mail me when he got home). I texted him on Sunday to say hello and that we should get together this week. He wrote back: Sounds great! That was his standard response when we were going to do something. I haven’t heard back from him since.

We went out for about 4 weeks and luckily I didn’t have sex with him. I wasn’t really into him, but I thought, “I’ll give this guy a chance because he’s so nice.” 

I am really disappointed in his behavior. If he doesn’t want to see me anymore, I would have expected that he call me or something, not just flake out altogether. He was a real gentleman from day one and now this. Candace

Dear Candace,

This proves my theory that those who are willing to rush in will be just as willing to rush out. I know the movies and tv have us brainwashed to think that it’s romantic when someone we hardly know starts to text every other day and want to spend all their free time with us, but it’s generally a big, red flag. They’re more in love with the idea of love than the actual person, because it’s too soon for anyone to really know who they’re dealing with.

You said you’re not really into him so this is more about your ego being bruised than anything else.  The only thing you can do now is to pull back and if you do hear from him, give him less of your time.  If he wants to see you more often, he’ll have to earn it.  Don’t make someone a priority when they only see you as an option.

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